Triathalizzle

This past Saturday, I competed my very first sprint-distance triathlon. It was a 0.5 mile (875 m) swim, 12 mile (19.3 km) bike ride, and a 3 mile (4.8 km) run. I was very nervous, but I did it, dammit, and I had a super-fun time at it!

I completed these three activities in a total of 1 hour 25 minutes and 23 seconds. I was the 130th finisher of 572 finishers overall. That's in the top 77th percentile! For my age/gender division, I was 72nd percentile, as the 30- to 34-year-old males are a competitive bunch. My swim time was 17:00, my bike time was 42: 24, and my run time was 21:28. I am very proud of these times because 1) I swam in 60 degree water without a wetsuit in just a speedo, 2) I don't have a fancy bike at all, and 3) I ran fast!

I could hardly sleep the night before I was so excited. Bridget (my super cheerleader!) and I got up at 6:50 am and headed over to Kirkland. I set up my stuff in the transition area, and then waited for a while before the race started. Just minutes before the swim - I was already stripped down to my speedo - I went over to the transition area to check on something, and I noticed that my shorts were missing! I searched and searched, but could not find them. I totally figured some jerk stole my shorts, so that I would have to do the whole event in just a speedo (which would be a special feat on its own). Just as I was about to give up and use my jogging pants instead, I searched in one of my neighbor's bags, and found my shorts in there. I guess he had accidentally thrown them in there when he was setting up his stuff. So, a word to future triathletes - keep an eye on your clothes!

The swim was good. I was happy to not get kicked in the face, but I did kind of get kicked in the shoulder at the start. My legs got clawed at a lot, but that wasn't so bad. However, when I came out of the water to run to my bike, I noticed that the toes in my left foot were numb! Why not my right toes, I do not know, but this was evidence that the water was pretty darn cold! Something you don't really notice when your swimming as hard as you can.

I had a really fun time on the bike ride. I thanked every police officer and volunteer that I passed (there should be a prize for that), hollered out of control when I saw the rare spectator, and waved at every baby who stared at me befuddled and I whizzed by. And I was the Master of the Hills, and there were a LOT of steep hills to climb! I felt really good passing everybody on the hills. I would pass people in fancy bikes on the uphills, and then they would pass me on the next downhill in their fancy bikes, and then I would pass them again on the next hill in my not-so-fancy bike. So BOOYAH fancy-pants!

The run was pretty easy, and I got lots of high fives from people as I ran out to start it. I was keeping pace with a few other guys in my age range that I wanted to beat, and I beat a good number of them, but not one crazy guy who shot out like a rocket in the last 500 metres.

It felt so good to cross the finish line! I finished with a tired and lame jump twist, and raised my arms in a V. I was pretty tired at the end of the race, but Bridget noticed I was not like a lot of the other people, who were totally out of breath and wheezing. This makes me feel good, as it must mean I have a good strong ticker in my chest. About an hour after the race, however, I did temporary damage to my cardiovascular system by eating many, many Top Pot donuts (my personal prize for finishing).

So, since I had so much fun, I'm totally going to do it again next year, and try to get a better time. I need to work on my swimming for sure, and my biking could use some work too probably. I'm not sure my run needs work - in already in the 84th percentile for that! Life is good.

So, that was the triathlon. However, there is another very exciting tale to tell, which involves a hilarious failure on my part. The day before the race, I went out to Kirkland to get my race packet and stuff. I also decided I would drive around the bike route, to see what the course was like. This was going well for a while, and then about halfway through, the road came to an abrupt end at a gate. The gate blocked entry to a bridge that appeared to go over a freeway. Obviously, I figured, they were going to open the gate tomorrow for the race, but for now my route-following trip was over.

I drove around a few blocks trying to find my way back, and ended up coming back to the gate again. However, this time, I noticed the gate was OPEN. I stopped, and saw that a police car was slowly driving over the bridge, with its lights on. I pulled over and waited for the police car to pass me. After it was gone, I noticed that the gate was still open. I thought "Hmmmmmm..." for a little while, and then thought "Hey, sure, I'll just go across!" So I go through, and I drive, and I drive. And then, as I get to the peak of the bridge, I see on the other side that there are two gates, and they are both CLOSING! I freak out, and try to beat the first gate (not really sure what I was thinking, because I clearly wasn't going to make it through the second gate in any case). I end up NOT beating the first gate, and slow down as it - gently - hits the side of my car. I roll down the window and try to push the gate open, but it won't push more than an inch back.

So, I am stuck on a bridge where I shouldn't be. In my current state, I cannot even open my car doors. I have a gate blocking me on the left side, and on the right side is a concrete wall. Yup, I'm totally awesome. About a minute later, a pedestrian was walking across, and I explained myself, and asked if he knew who I could call. Eventually I ended up calling 911, and they called the police, and the police dispatched an officer out to rescue me. I waited for about 10 minutes (while people walked by and looked at me funny), and eventually the officer came and opened the gates. After I had cleared the bridge, I pulled over, and she came over to talk to me. And she came up to my window, she just stared at me in wonderment, mouth agape, and asked me: "What happened?!" She was totally amused and confused by my story. My story was mainly truthful, except I omitted the part where I saw the police officer crossing originally. She thought it was amazing that I had happened upon the gates while they were open, as she said the only way she can get them open is by turning on her emergency lights. Go figure!... Anyway, she did not cite me or fine me for anything (even though I'm sure she could have), and let me go on my way. I think I saw her the next day during the triathlon, holding up traffic as I biked by.

And so, there are two events spanning two September days: One of mental disappointment, and one of physical achievement, and both with the same protagonist.